This week, we're continuing our Hulk Hogan Hiatus with a very special episode. In June of 2017, on Episode 32 of our show, an offhanded comment led to the idea of casting a remake of the Andy Griffith Show. Well, the time has come. So take your bullet out of your pocket, shut down your still, mourn your dead wife, and head down to Mayberry with us.
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This week it’s our first annual 4th of July spectacular. And because there's nothing more American than releasing a shitty cash grab movie, we’ve chosen to begin our Hulk Hogan hiatus with the 2016 classic Independence Day: Resurgence. It’s a tough watch, but we got through it like true American heroes, and now we’re here to give you a thorough breakdown of this movie’s many, many, many faults. We also discuss a surprising number of opportunities they missed to make a marginally interesting sci-fi story and much more. Don’t miss it.
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No Holds Barred is in the rearview mirror. Ahead lies a scary future. What will we do next? Will we still talk about Hulk Hogan movies? Join us as we lay out the plan. Plus we open with a vicious argument about Arrested Development and Jacob making a fool of himself in one of our most popular segments. Don’t miss it.
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It's been a long journey, friends. Together we've spent many an hour. Staring at the wall, talking about No Holds Barred. Men have formed bonds that last a lifetime over much less.
But all journeys must end. Just know, we'll always have this time together. Join us as we say goodbye to the Hulk Hogan film No Holds Barred. We’ll also discuss patriotism, horses, bells, ribs, Dan Carlin, French cuisine, In the Heat of the Night, Hamlet, merchandising, Peter Dinklage, boxers, wigs, Lassie, and Chubby Checker. Don’t miss it.
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This week discuss the final pages of the No Holds Barred script written by Dennis Hackin, before Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan got their oversized hands on it. Plus Johnny Manziel, bulls, competitive eating, Weird Al, childbirth, City Slickers, jazz, and White Men Can’t Jump. Don’t miss it.
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We're nearing the end of our journey into the depths of No Holds Barred. Listen in as we break down the original script version of the climactic fight, as written by Dennis Hackin. We'll compare and contrast this version to the filmed version written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon, as well as more from the NFL Draft and the movie Draft Day, Tombstone, Alfred Molina, parrots, Rodger Staubach, U2, The Producers, pulled pork, forklifts, Jane Porter, and another Hulk Hogan toilet story. Don’t miss it.
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As we told you in our last episode, someone broke Jacob's computer. Who would do that? His whole life was in that thing. But don't worry. We got him a new one. A better one. One with all the bells and whistles. So we're back, just in time to talk about the terrible movie Draft Day on the actual NFL Draft Day. Don’t miss it.
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After a short delay, we're back with a quick episode to explain what happened and how we plan to make it up to you. Plus Old Bidness, Recommendations, mules, rap, and we break down some jokes. Don't miss it.
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Friends, we’re nearing the end of our journey through the No Holds Barred script. We’ve been flying through at breakneck speed (apologies to Randy), but this week, unbelievably, we manage to ratchet up the pace even more. They said it was impossible. They said it was dangerous, reckless, even foolhardy. But, folks, when we get that need for speed, all I can tell you is you better hop in and buckle up, ‘cause you just might be in for the ride of your life.
Like the majority of scenes in this script, our first stop is at a corporate board room during some kind of executive meeting. You may ask, are these executives having a meal? If so, what kind of meal, and how will they manage to enjoy that meal and listen to a presentation at the same time? Well, those are all fine questions, but if you want them answered, you’ll just have to tune in.
Actually, apart from that corporate scene and a few very notable difference in stage direction and dialog, Dennis Hackin’s original draft of the script doesn’t differ all that much from the final version written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon. Yes, folks, it seems that in the spirit of the Easter season, our boys have finally called a truce and met on some common ground. You know, they might’ve even settled down for a good old-fashioned Easter picnic together. Heck, if I know these rascals, I bet they’ve hunted up quite their fair share of Easter eggs. Heck, I bet they even chased ol’ Peter Cottontail, maybe even seen if they could rub his ol’ rabbit’s foot for luck. Now did our three boys catch ol’ Peter Cottontail? Did they hunt up their fair share of Easter eggs? I say again, you’ll have to tune in to find out.
And in addition to our script analysis, we’ve got an extended Ol’ Bidness segment, which includes a pretty thrilling announcement. We’ll also be covering roosters, brisket, mules, Garfield, Rob Schneider, the Miami Dolphins, Andy Griffith, peanut butter, carrots, wooden nickels, Jell-O, Donnie Darko, Forrest Gump, House of Cards, The Elephant Man, bodybuilding, suitcases, and The Chronicles of Narnia. Don’t miss it.
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Friends, last week we left you with ol’ Randy just looking an awful sight. His poor old neck had been broken so loudly that it silenced a screaming crowd. And rather than calling the Emergency Medical Technicians (EMTs) and getting the sweet boy in an ambulance, a couple of no-goods just loaded him up in their car. And rather than driving the boy gently down the road and dropping him off at a local hospital to convalesce, these skunks took him over to Ripper’s gym and threw him out of a moving car. And rather than Randy just letting go and embracing the sweet release of sleep or the sweet release of death, this exhausted young man was forced into a conversation with Ripper while he choked, sputtered, and, ultimately, convulsed. It was just a sorry affair all the way around.
But don’t worry, folks, this Randy is one tough kid, and he made it through. In fact, this week opens in the hospital, Randy in the O.R., Ripper in the throes an existential crisis. This is not only a powerful moment in the script but an illustrative one as well. For one, we finally get to see Dennis Hackin’s original vision for the scene as we read his draft of the script. More than that, we get to compare Hack’s draft to Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon’s final version as seen in the movie, a version far more grounded in Hulk’s acting range.
And guys, that’s just the first couple paragraphs. There’s a hell of a lot more we’re about to cover. We’ve got suspense. We’ve got riveting action and a possible jump scare. We’ve got pulse-pounding drama. And we’ve got the tender, moving bonds of good friends and family. Will Randy survive his surgery? Will Ripper make it out the other side? What will Sam do while she’s waiting? Will Charlie catch some Zs? You’ll have to tune in to find out.
And for the cherry on top, we’ll also be discussing casinos, cuts of meat, Jared Fogle, juice, My Left Foot, Morgan Freeman, The Empire Strikes Back, Bo Jackson, AC/DC, Slim Pickens, Coal Chamber, Mozart, Frankensteins, Monty Hall, holograms, and Barney Fife. Don’t miss it.
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Welcome back, everybody. It’s been exactly 14 days since we released our annual Valentine’s Day episode. To celebrate that most romantic of holidays, we of course continued our review of the No Holds Barred script written by Dennis Hackin and compared it to the final version written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon. And of course, we got to read about the first true romantic advances between Ripper and Samantha N. Moore. It was a scene filled with charm, a scene filled with laughter, and, ultimately, a scene filled with white-hot eroticism.
Now I ask you this. When you’ve just covered a scene so sensual, so incredibly steamy that your glasses fogged up just listening to it, how can you possibly follow it up? Well, if you answered that, of course, you follow it up with a wrestling-based children’s charity field day, then, my friend, you just might have a future in this business…’cause that’s exactly where ol’ Hack is headed next.
Now let’s take it one step further. How does one proceed after a scene of sexual tension so taut that Philippe Petit's could walk across it, followed by a wrestling-based children’s charity field day? Well, once again, that question has but one answer, and that’s to cut to a brutal, and quite realistic, sexual assault.
And finally, dear listener, let me ask you this. Really put your screenwriter hat on, and give this one some thought. In a 1989 children’s movie, how should one follow a scene of high erotic passion, a wrestling-based children’s charity field day, and a brutal and realistic sexual assault? Well, folks, the answer to that one is both deceptively simple and breathtakingly elegant. Of course, what you should do is have one of your main characters viciously beaten within an inch of his life.
And that’s how it’s done folks. That’s how modern masters like Dennis Hackin, Hulk Hogan, and Vince McMahon make their money. That’s why they’re on speed dial for any director worth his salt. That’s why they’ve got Walk of Fame stars in Hollywood, Bollywood, and Dollywood. That’s why they’re true-blue American heroes.
But of course, folks, that was just the introduction. There’s a hell of a lot more to it. If you want the real skinny on this script, on who came up with which ideas, on what those ideas say about the author, and if you want the real skinny on helicopter terminology, then you better pop in those ear bud units, press play on your podcast listening device, and buckle up. You’re in for one hell of a wild ride.
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Well, folks, it’s that time of year. Lovers are strolling arm-in-arm through Central Park. Cupid is lounging atop a cloud, his quiver well-stocked. Godiva is ramping up their chocolate production and tightening their credit card security policies. Roses are being sold in tents in the parking lots of grocery stores. Edible chalk hearts are being exchanged. But most telling of all, it’s time for Whatcha Gonna Do: The Hulk Hogan Movie Podcast’s annual Valentine’s Day episode – this year released 6 days after Valentine’s Day.
In this episode, we’ll be exploring perhaps the most romantic scenes from the original No Holds Barred script, written by Dennis Hackin. We've got everything you’d want – a brutal fight, a weight lifting session, an inexplicable corporate meeting, and of course the main event: the long-awaited romance between professional wrestler Ripper and a woman he’s worked with on a diaper commercial. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll fashion a weapon out of a length of steel pipe. And most importantly, you’ll see love in its truest form. Just make sure your bed won’t break.
And as always, we cover a wide range of other romantic topics, including the Mapplethorpe exhibit, automobile safety, enemas, haunted forests, George Jones, backhand strikes, incest, Mickey Goldmill, McGyver, Chris Vaughn, Zach Randolph, Matrix spoilers, undershirts, Holiday Inn, and toxic shock syndrome. Don’t miss it.
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This week we’re back in the No Hold Barred script to discuss two of the more bizarre scenes from the movie – the diner robbery and the hotel room shared by Ripper and Samantha N. Moore. Overall, the final versions of these scenes in the movie are basically unchanged from the original draft of the script written by Dennis Hackin. However, by examining a few of the key additions to the final version – as written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon – we believe we are able to confirm a few of the stranger attitudes and biases at the heart of this legendary screenwriting duo – attitudes we could only speculate on before. Also, given how little these scenes changed overall in the final version, we are able to attribute many of their stranger elements to Dennis Hackin (a.k.a. Hack) himself, in particular from his depiction of everywoman Samantha N. Moore. While we may never arrive at a complete picture of Hack, we believe that our careful study of his work is shedding new light on this revered but mysterious American figure.
And in addition to analyzing the script, we give our definitive Super Bowl preview, cover some old diaper-centric business, confront a member of our listening audience, and cover such far-ranging topics as pasta, pomade, ZZ Top, Tyler Perry, potatoes, unusual deaths, Doc Holliday, the Bible, buttocks, murder-suicides, and Carrie Underwood. Don’t miss it.
Watch and subscribe to Len Binning’s new show “Len and Jim Take” over at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1sqi1BY--FqEBCbU6NYx4g.
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This week, we return to the No Holds Barred script for one of the more bizarre sequences from either the screenplay or final movie. In fact, this scene is so bizarre that Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon – famed for their authorial restraint – decided to remove it completely from their final version of the script. And while any differences between the Dennis Hackin draft of the script and the final version written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon give us a window into their minds and creative process, we daresay that this scene in particular gives us a glimpse into the very soul of the American luminary Dennis Hackin. It’s quite an exciting ride.
And in addition to examining the script, we discuss dog chores, turtles, cellar doors, Howard Kramer, hampers, pythons, smart horses, the Viet Cong, Gladiator 2, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Also, Jacob announces an exciting new project. Don’t miss it.
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This week we’re back into the No Holds Barred script and discussing a few more pivotal scenes from the film, starting with the first two airings of the No Holds Barred Battle of the Tough-Guy Challenge (later abbreviated as the No Holds Barred Tough-Guy Challenge). Besides just getting our first glimpse of Zeus in action, it turns out that these fight scenes revealed a massive surprise in the movie – one we had missed in over a year of covering this movie.
We’ll also be getting a bit more backstory on Zeus and an alternate take on one of his most iconic fights. And as always, this script affords us a peek behind the curtain and into the minds of three of America’s most acclaimed screenwriters: Dennis Hackin (who wrote the original version of the script) and of course the powerhouse writing team of Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon (responsible for the movie version of the script). You can never learn enough about luminaries such as these, so we certainly hope you’ll join us.
And as if that weren’t enough, we’ll also be covering Judge Roy Bean, sea snails, pies, the movie Ghost, rodeo bulls, Taxi Driver, Bonanza, Teen Wolf, Batman, and The Righteous Brothers. Don’t miss it.
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Christmas is here again, and that means it’s time for four second annual holiday spectacular. This Christmas, we’re defying two of our comedic heroes, Scott Aukerman and Paul F. Tompkins, by joking about the 2004 film “I, Robot.” If you’re confused, don’t worry; we’ll explain what we’re talking in the episode.
We’ll be answering many of the questions presented by this movie. Is Will Smith a good detective or just a maniac? Why are so many of the movie’s plot points introduced and quickly abandoned? Why do robots have eyebrows? And many more. Plus Clint reads a Christmas classic, and we talk about pies. Don’t miss it.
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This week we’re back with our fifth installment reviewing the original Dennis Hackin draft of the No Holds Barred script – and of course comparing his version to the final Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon rewrite. Up first, we’ll be meeting the four fearsome entrants to the No Holds Barred Battle of the Tough-Guy Challenge (ignoring late entrants Neanderthal (a.k.a. Bubba) and Zeus for now). You heard that right, folks. It isn’t just the three entrants you know and love from the movie (Klondike Kramer, Brock Chisler, and Bulldog McPherson). No, in fact, an entirely new contender has emerged – one with a strictly Dennis Hackin origin and a very interesting quirk.
We’ll also be covering two scenes from the script aren’t in the movie at all. We won’t give it away here, but let’s just say that you’ll be getting a partial origin story for one of the movie’s most iconic characters, and another of Ripper’s (aka Rip’s) many talents will be revealed.
And as if that weren’t enough, we’ll be covering walnuts, butt plugs, cock rings, Pee Wee, forklifts, Cheryl Hines, Jacob’s family’s favorite cocktails, Joe Frazier, Mad Men, Mark Henry, prison bodybuilding, and the state of medical care in wrestling. Also, this week marks the return of one of the finest impersonations ever heard on this program. Don’t miss it.
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This week finds up back in the No Holds Barred script and covering yet another standout scene from the movie: Brell, Orbach (a.k.a. Ordway), and Unger’s first visit to Spike’s Bar (a.k.a. The No Count Bar). And while the original Dennis Hackin screenplay version is at least structurally very similar to the later Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon rewrite as seen in the movie, there are some very key differences for us to explore. Actually, a few of the more bizarre elements from this scene are included specifically in one version but not the other, so this scene in particular gives us a window into the strange internal lives of screenwriters Dennis Hackin, Hulk Hogan, and Vince McMahon. In addition to the script analysis, this episode features Clint’s long-awaited take on the Louis C.K. sexual harassment scandal, his encyclopedic knowledge of early American explorers and STDs, an apology to Dennis Hackin, a discussion of the extended theatrical run for No Holds Barred in Brazil, one of Jacob’s frightening alter-egos, and Jacob desperately trying (and failing) to remember the movie title “Requiem for a Heavyweight.” Don’t miss it.
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This week, we’re back to our coverage of No Holds Barred with one of the more memorable scenes from the movie: Rip’s romantic dinner with Samantha N. Moore at the world’s fanciest French restaurant. And of course, in this case, we’re actually taking a look at this scene from an early draft of the script – a draft written by acclaimed novelist Dennis Hackin – and comparing it to the movie version penned by equally acclaimed writers Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon. Now, as interesting as this scene is in the movie – and remember that among other things, it features Hulk Hogan wearing a Matlock suit and speaking French – this script version might be even more impressive. You’ll have to tune in to see why. And as if that weren’t enough, we also cover topics like horses, orange sherbet, Chopped, Marlon Brando, Li’l Wayne, Rocky Balboa, George H.W. Bush, and two of Clint’s new aliases. Don’t miss it.
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We were working in the lab late one night when our eyes beheld an eerie sight...it was a Twitter DM from Rock Talk to see if we wanted to record a crossover with them. Spooky!
So this week, we’ll be covering Walking Tall - an early starring vehicle for The Rock and perhaps the worst film in the long career of Michael Bowen. Don’t miss it.
And in the spirit of Halloween, our friends from the podcast “Rock Talk: A Guide to the Films of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson” will be covering a Hulk Hogan film - the venerable No Holds Barred. So be sure to subscribe to their podcast and check out their take on this 1989 Hulk Hogan classic as well as any other Rock Talk episodes you’ve missed.
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Last episode, we narrowly escaped a hammerhead upside our fishbrain noggins. This week, we brave that danger once again to cover an early version of the No Holds Barred screenplay – a version written by Bronco Billy’s own Dennis Hackin. And just like the theatrical version, these early scenes are a pulse-pounding thrill ride. In fact, this week, we witness not one but two corporate strategy meetings (the third and fourth of the screenplay so far), a discussion of French antiques, the art of salary negotiation, and perhaps the most iconic scene of No Holds Barred. And as always, in comparing this Dennis Hackin draft of the screenplay to the rewrite penned by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon, we search for clues into the authorial method, the madness, or perhaps the overwhelming emptiness at the core of these two titans of sports entertainment.
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How long would it take to cover a 93 minute movie about a sociopathic professional wrestler? We thought the answer was 17 episodes when we wrapped up our film coverage in our last show, but as it turns out, the story of No Holds Barred is more, much more than its perfected theatrical form. Particularly so when Hulk Hogan claims to have personally rewritten its screenplay in a small hotel room with Vince McMahon over what must have been a nightmarish 72 hours.
So this week we continue our No Holds Barred coverage by diving into an early draft of the screenplay - one submitted by acclaimed novelist and screenwriter Dennis Hackin. By comparing his version to the final film, we hope to gain insight into the authorial method and perhaps into the very souls of Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon. Or maybe we’ll just talk about some dumb shit that’s in the screenplay and not the movie, or vice-versa. You’ll have to tune in to find out.
We also discuss Rob Zombie, impotence, Steve Jobs, Jerome Bettis, Hulk Hogan church attendance, and Limp Bizkit. And most importantly, we make a long overdue apology to a former guest on the show. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
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Very few podcasts would spend three episodes covering any movie. Even fewer would spend three episodes on a universally panned, 20-year-old movie about a fictional professional wrestler, played by an actual professional wrestler with no acting talent. And only one would spend three extra episodes on content they may have missed in 14 prior episodes covering that movie. If you haven’t guessed it yet, we are that very podcast. This week, we’re back for our 17th episode on No Holds Barred, Hulk Hogan’s first starring role in a film. In this third and final installment of things we missed, we’ll cover alternate endings, feats of strength, background acting, bell ringing, Oscar De La Hoya, watches, Jimi Hendrix, the southeastern U.S. real estate market, and Jacob’s long-overdue apology to a friend of the show and former guest. Don’t miss it.
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Email us at WGDPod@gmail.com
Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
Follow Magnolia Brown on Facebook (facebook.com/MagnoliaBrownJams) and Reverb Nation (ReverbNation.com/MagnoliaBrownJams)
This week we once again welcome Stephen Perlstein – comedian, writer, and cohost of the podcasts “You Should Love Wrestling” and “I Love You and I Like You: A Parks and Recreation Podcast.” Like us, Stephen is not a wrestling fan, so logically, we have both started podcasts to discuss wrestlers for hundreds of hours, watched an absurd number of wrestling matches, and now join each other on this podcast for a two hour conversation about famous wrestler Hulk Hogan. Here in hour two of that discussion, we review all things Hulk Hogan – including bandanas, occupational therapy, the 1998 romantic comedy “You’ve Got Mail,” Whitney Cummings, Vanna White, fossil fuels, campaign financing, and bodyslam technique. Don’t miss it.
Follow Stephen Perlstein on Twitter @Perlstein
Subscribe to Stephen’s podcast “You Should Love Wrestling” and follow @YSLWPodcast
Subscribe to Stephen’s podcast “I Love You and I Like You: A Parks and Recreation Podcast”
Check out Stephen’s podcast network: Boardwalk Audio
Follow us on Twitter @WGDPod
Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/WGDPod
Email us at WGDPod@gmail.com
Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
Follow Magnolia Brown on Facebook (facebook.com/MagnoliaBrownJams) and Reverb Nation (ReverbNation.com/MagnoliaBrownJams)
It can be a lonely life when you don't like wrestling but end up devoting most of your time to studying a wrestler. So when we find a kindred spirit like Stephen Perlstein of the You Should Love Wrestling podcast, we get pretty excited and take up an unreasonable amount of his time. In fact, we talked to Stephen for so long that we had to split the conversation over two episodes. Here in part 1, we discuss topics like Hulk Hogan's personal hygiene, tanning regimen, and golden toilets, as well as REO Speedwagon, hometown heroes, cat diets, Nu Metal, zoo attendance, pasta, and Terry Bollea’s penis. Don’t miss it.
Follow Stephen Perlstein on Twitter @Perlstein
Subscribe to Stephen’s podcast “You Should Love Wrestling” and follow @YSLWPodcast
Subscribe to Stephen’s podcast “I Love You and I Like You: A Parks and Recreation Podcast”
Check out Stephen’s podcast network: Boardwalk Audio
Follow us on Twitter @WGDPod
Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/WGDPod
Email us at WGDPod@gmail.com
Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
Follow Magnolia Brown on Facebook (facebook.com/MagnoliaBrownJams) and Reverb Nation (ReverbNation.com/MagnoliaBrownJams)