Our live recording with Chris Fairbanks on 1/25/2019 at the LMAO Comedy club in Paris, TX as part of the Tower City Comedy Festival. We discuss life, love, dermatology, boxing, Hulk Hogan, mountaineering, and much more. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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The hiatus is over. We’re ready to jump back in the saddle and talk about some Hulk Hogan movies again. But first we’ve got to settle in and reset ourselves. You see, when a man spends six months in the wilderness, six months fighting the roughest terrain Mother Earth’s got to throw at him, six months chasing the most elusive of quarry – his own true self – well, then a man can’t just jump off a train and right back into his old life. No, he’s got to make sure that his dogs still recognize his scent, that his children still know his voice, that his wife has been lighting a candle in the windowsill every night like she promised, that his cousin Andy hasn’t been sneaking over to play video games again.
So that’s what we’re doing this week. We’re settling back in, trading our road-worn rags for a robe and slippers, wrapping up some old business, and setting the table for Suburban Commando. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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Well, folks, this is it. It’s been a heck of a journey, but as the good book says, all good things must come to an end. And when I mentioned “good things” in the preceding sentence, that would most certainly include our coverage of the Godfather series. That’s right, just like the film Godfather 3 put the perfect bow on the Godfather franchise, our finale will leave you breathless, satisfied, and with a heart open wide to all the good things of this Earth. Why, we’ve got more of that first cousin romance. We’ve got Vatican intrigue. We’ve got a donkey-impersonating assassin. We’ve got more from the incomparable George Hamilton. Is there a Hulk Hogan cameo? No, there isn’t. But, folks, we’ve got opera! That’s right, we’ve got a 30-minute opera scene tucked neatly into the end of this three-hour movie. It’s an out-and-out barn burner to close out the franchise, so don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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This week, we’re taking a break from our Godfather 3 coverage to bring you a Life Day spectacular: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978), one of the most bizarre two hours in television history. One major SPOILER up front: Hulk Hogan does not appear in this movie. But what we’re lacking in Sterling Golden, perhaps we’ll make up for in Golden Girls? Yes, we hope you’ll Bea tuning in for this one, as they say. Perhaps we’ll Arthur you a drink, or perhaps one of our roommates can Blanche you some peanuts as a low-carb snack. Perhaps there will even be some “Questions and Answers” to our answers and questions.
As Star Wars novices ourselves, we didn’t feel quite up to bringing you this coverage on our own. So we’ve enlisted the help of dear friend and major Star Wars fan, Mr. Len Binning. Of course, regular listeners know Len as the writer and lead singer of our theme song, “Find My Way,” a performer on our “Ol’ Bidness” theme, and the lone writer/producer/performer on our Recommendations theme. But this week, he’s here to talk about grunting bears, Diahann Carroll, acrobats, 70s-style animation, demons, and the many other joys to be found in this holiday spectacular. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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This week we extend our Hulk Hogan hiatus with a special Thanksgiving day treat: further coverage of Godfather 3. When we last saw Don Michael Corleone, he was in the hospital recovering from a diabetic stroke and speaking in a somewhat softer voice. Now our boy is back on his feet, half the world away in a country called Italy – a land of fine wine, pure virgin olive oil, and a surprising number of professional soccer teams (or football as the locals sometimes call it). We’ve got even more Vatican intrigue, family romance, Elvis Costello, animal impressions, and a few surprises along the way you won’t believe. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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This week we extend our Hulk Hogan hiatus with continued coverage of Godfather 3. When last we saw him, our intrepid don Michael Corleone was fleeing piggyback from a helicopter assassination. How’s Michael feeling after a brush with death? How will the family handle Mr. Joey Zasa? Will first cousins Vincent and Mary ever act on that white-hot chemistry? Will we see any random cameos or learn anything new about Catholicism? You’ll just have to tune in to find out.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
Check out Len’s YouTube show “Len and Jim Take Over” (link)
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It's a special crossover event, as we welcome two of the co-hosts from Clint's other podcast, Let Us Be Your Dads: Brandon Davidson and Daniel Griffith. We're here to talk about Hulk Hogan as a father, a celebrity, a lover, a politician, a spokesman, and combinations of the five.
And when you're done, go check out Jacob's guest appearance on Let Us Be Your Dads, episode 16.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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We were working in the lab late one night when our eyes beheld an eerie sight…it was a Godfather movie mostly based around Vatican intrigue and first cousin romance. Spooky! That’s right, folks. For our special, Third Annual Spooktacular Halloween Episode™ of Whatcha Gonna Do: The Hulk Hogan Movie Podcast (a.k.a. The 24 Inch Podcast), we’ll be bringing you the world premiere of the continuation of our Godfather 3 discussion. It’s gonna be a real treat (or perhaps trick?), so tune in if you dare…
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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After weeks of stalling and years of preparation, it’s finally here: our long-awaited coverage of Godfather 3. In this episode, we’ll start to unravel the mysteries that have surrounded this movie for decades. Who directed this movie? What hairstyle does Al Pacino adopt for this film? Does Hulk Hogan appear in it? Has Sofia Coppola been in any other movies? Who is Vincent’s father? Who starred in Rashomon?
Well, friends, these mysteries will soon be laid bare. If you’ll but click the Play somewhere in your current browser or podcast application window, Episode 66 of the podcast Whatcha Gonna Do: The Hulk Hogan Movie Podcast, a.k.a., The 24 Inch Podcast will begin. And what it plays won’t be just any old episode. It will be part one of our coverage of Godfather 3, in which we’ll shed light on the many unanswered questions noted above, which is why they are included in the prior paragraph. So if you’re using headphones, please place them in or over your ears. And however you plan to listen, please adjust your device to an appropriate volume level, click Play in your browser or podcast window, and enjoy the show (Episode 66 of the podcast Whatcha Gonna Do: The Hulk Hogan Movie Podcast, a.k.a., The 24 Inch Podcast, in which we begin discussing the film Godfather 3).
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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This week we continue our Hogan hiatus to discuss two more films not starring Hulk Hogan: Godfather 1 and Godfather 2. Now, faithful listeners may remember that in our last episode, we promised that this week’s topic would be Godfather 3. And so those same faithful listeners might just say that makes us a couple of rotten, lying sons of bitches. And in all candor and to be perfectly frank, we quite honestly can’t dispute that. By the strict letter of the law, we are a couple of lying, rotten sons of bitches for going back on our word, but we’ve done it for a very good reason, and we hope you’ll indulge us.
First of all, the more we tried to talk about Godfather 3, the more we realized that we really needed to cover Godfather 1 and Godfather 2 to put the third movie in the right context. But even more important is this: for over 35 years on this Earth, we’ve been hearing people disparage those first two films. We can’t even tell you how many times people come up to us – people we don’t even know – and said “Hey, I don’t even know you two guys, but I just wanted to tell you I don’t think the films Godfather 1 and Godfather 2 are very good.” It’s happened to us more times than we can count and a damn sight more times than we can stomach. And we just couldn’t let that stand, because in our humble opinion, Godfather 1 and Godfather 2 are a damn fine pair of films. We just think they’re just damn fine films, and we don’t care who knows it.
So if you can bear with us for one more episode, you’ll hear our long-awaited coverage of Godfather 3 on our next episode. But on this episode, we’ll be stating our case that Godfather 1 and Godfather 2 are two top-tier American films. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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This week we continue our Hulk Hogan hiatus with a quiet, low-key episode. Now, to longtime listeners, that probably comes as quite a shock. Anybody who’s been listening to us these past few years knows our m.o. – we fly through topics at a breakneck pace. Heck, sometimes when we get that need for speed, folks have been known to ask “Hey, I thought the podcast ‘Whatcha Gonna Do: The Hulk Hogan Movie Podcast, a.k.a., The 24 Inch Podcast’ was hosted by Clint Carroll and Jacob Smith. When did Barry Allen and Wally West take over?” I mean, that’s just the kind of creative fans we have around here: fans who would reference Barry Allen and Wally West in a comment about the pace of our podcast.
But hey, we heard you. Loud and clear. And folks, if we learned one thing from our stop in Mayberry these last four episodes, it’s that we don’t always have to be men in a hurry. Sometimes you’ve just got to make time for the little things in life, like cigarettes, BUTCH haircuts, kerosene pickles, faking armed robberies, or financially ruining carnival workers.
So in the true spirit of Mayberry, in this episode, we’ll just be having a quick conversation and getting ready to cover Godfather 3 on our next show. So if you haven’t seen Godfather 3 (or the original two), go check it out on Netflix or wherever movies are sold.
Also, this week we’ll wrap up some long overdue Old Bidness and give you some extended recommendations. Also, a very special segment to mark the beginning of the NFL season. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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This week our Hulk Hogan hiatus continues as we welcome friends of the show Blake Collier and Thadd Harrington. In a very special installment of Old Bidness, we settle some long-festering grievances and debut a brand-new segment, one sure to capture the hearts and minds of the nation. And finally, we wrap up our coverage of Andy Griffith as Blake gives us his choices for a modern recast. So put on your bed jacket, get a sleeping pill from the lady druggist, check yourself in for a night at the jail, and join us for a final trip back to Mayberrry.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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Our Hulk Hogan hiatus continues this week with part three of our recast of The Andy Griffith Show. In this episode, we discuss some of the more memorable moments from the original series and how we would translate them into the grittier modern reboot. We also discuss some of the darker and stranger episodes from the original and how they would fit into our modern adaptation. So tie a note to a rock to throw through the window, visit the lady druggist, cook up some beans on a hot plate in your sad room at the boarding house, and join us for another trip back to Mayberry.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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Our Hulk Hogan hiatus continues as we bring you part two of our recasting of the Andy Griffith Show. So take the key off of the hook, lock yourself in the cell and come back to Mayberry with us.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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This week, we're continuing our Hulk Hogan Hiatus with a very special episode. In June of 2017, on Episode 32 of our show, an offhanded comment led to the idea of casting a remake of the Andy Griffith Show. Well, the time has come. So take your bullet out of your pocket, shut down your still, mourn your dead wife, and head down to Mayberry with us.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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This week it’s our first annual 4th of July spectacular. And because there's nothing more American than releasing a shitty cash grab movie, we’ve chosen to begin our Hulk Hogan hiatus with the 2016 classic Independence Day: Resurgence. It’s a tough watch, but we got through it like true American heroes, and now we’re here to give you a thorough breakdown of this movie’s many, many, many faults. We also discuss a surprising number of opportunities they missed to make a marginally interesting sci-fi story and much more. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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No Holds Barred is in the rearview mirror. Ahead lies a scary future. What will we do next? Will we still talk about Hulk Hogan movies? Join us as we lay out the plan. Plus we open with a vicious argument about Arrested Development and Jacob making a fool of himself in one of our most popular segments. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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It's been a long journey, friends. Together we've spent many an hour. Staring at the wall, talking about No Holds Barred. Men have formed bonds that last a lifetime over much less.
But all journeys must end. Just know, we'll always have this time together. Join us as we say goodbye to the Hulk Hogan film No Holds Barred. We’ll also discuss patriotism, horses, bells, ribs, Dan Carlin, French cuisine, In the Heat of the Night, Hamlet, merchandising, Peter Dinklage, boxers, wigs, Lassie, and Chubby Checker. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
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“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
Check out Len’s YouTube show “Len and Jim Take Over” (link)
This week discuss the final pages of the No Holds Barred script written by Dennis Hackin, before Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan got their oversized hands on it. Plus Johnny Manziel, bulls, competitive eating, Weird Al, childbirth, City Slickers, jazz, and White Men Can’t Jump. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
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We're nearing the end of our journey into the depths of No Holds Barred. Listen in as we break down the original script version of the climactic fight, as written by Dennis Hackin. We'll compare and contrast this version to the filmed version written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon, as well as more from the NFL Draft and the movie Draft Day, Tombstone, Alfred Molina, parrots, Rodger Staubach, U2, The Producers, pulled pork, forklifts, Jane Porter, and another Hulk Hogan toilet story. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
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“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
Check out Len’s YouTube show “Len and Jim Take Over” (link)
As we told you in our last episode, someone broke Jacob's computer. Who would do that? His whole life was in that thing. But don't worry. We got him a new one. A better one. One with all the bells and whistles. So we're back, just in time to talk about the terrible movie Draft Day on the actual NFL Draft Day. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
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“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot.
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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning.
Check out Len’s YouTube show “Len and Jim Take Over” (link)
After a short delay, we're back with a quick episode to explain what happened and how we plan to make it up to you. Plus Old Bidness, Recommendations, mules, rap, and we break down some jokes. Don't miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
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Friends, we’re nearing the end of our journey through the No Holds Barred script. We’ve been flying through at breakneck speed (apologies to Randy), but this week, unbelievably, we manage to ratchet up the pace even more. They said it was impossible. They said it was dangerous, reckless, even foolhardy. But, folks, when we get that need for speed, all I can tell you is you better hop in and buckle up, ‘cause you just might be in for the ride of your life.
Like the majority of scenes in this script, our first stop is at a corporate board room during some kind of executive meeting. You may ask, are these executives having a meal? If so, what kind of meal, and how will they manage to enjoy that meal and listen to a presentation at the same time? Well, those are all fine questions, but if you want them answered, you’ll just have to tune in.
Actually, apart from that corporate scene and a few very notable difference in stage direction and dialog, Dennis Hackin’s original draft of the script doesn’t differ all that much from the final version written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon. Yes, folks, it seems that in the spirit of the Easter season, our boys have finally called a truce and met on some common ground. You know, they might’ve even settled down for a good old-fashioned Easter picnic together. Heck, if I know these rascals, I bet they’ve hunted up quite their fair share of Easter eggs. Heck, I bet they even chased ol’ Peter Cottontail, maybe even seen if they could rub his ol’ rabbit’s foot for luck. Now did our three boys catch ol’ Peter Cottontail? Did they hunt up their fair share of Easter eggs? I say again, you’ll have to tune in to find out.
And in addition to our script analysis, we’ve got an extended Ol’ Bidness segment, which includes a pretty thrilling announcement. We’ll also be covering roosters, brisket, mules, Garfield, Rob Schneider, the Miami Dolphins, Andy Griffith, peanut butter, carrots, wooden nickels, Jell-O, Donnie Darko, Forrest Gump, House of Cards, The Elephant Man, bodybuilding, suitcases, and The Chronicles of Narnia. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
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Friends, last week we left you with ol’ Randy just looking an awful sight. His poor old neck had been broken so loudly that it silenced a screaming crowd. And rather than calling the Emergency Medical Technicians (EMTs) and getting the sweet boy in an ambulance, a couple of no-goods just loaded him up in their car. And rather than driving the boy gently down the road and dropping him off at a local hospital to convalesce, these skunks took him over to Ripper’s gym and threw him out of a moving car. And rather than Randy just letting go and embracing the sweet release of sleep or the sweet release of death, this exhausted young man was forced into a conversation with Ripper while he choked, sputtered, and, ultimately, convulsed. It was just a sorry affair all the way around.
But don’t worry, folks, this Randy is one tough kid, and he made it through. In fact, this week opens in the hospital, Randy in the O.R., Ripper in the throes an existential crisis. This is not only a powerful moment in the script but an illustrative one as well. For one, we finally get to see Dennis Hackin’s original vision for the scene as we read his draft of the script. More than that, we get to compare Hack’s draft to Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon’s final version as seen in the movie, a version far more grounded in Hulk’s acting range.
And guys, that’s just the first couple paragraphs. There’s a hell of a lot more we’re about to cover. We’ve got suspense. We’ve got riveting action and a possible jump scare. We’ve got pulse-pounding drama. And we’ve got the tender, moving bonds of good friends and family. Will Randy survive his surgery? Will Ripper make it out the other side? What will Sam do while she’s waiting? Will Charlie catch some Zs? You’ll have to tune in to find out.
And for the cherry on top, we’ll also be discussing casinos, cuts of meat, Jared Fogle, juice, My Left Foot, Morgan Freeman, The Empire Strikes Back, Bo Jackson, AC/DC, Slim Pickens, Coal Chamber, Mozart, Frankensteins, Monty Hall, holograms, and Barney Fife. Don’t miss it.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
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Welcome back, everybody. It’s been exactly 14 days since we released our annual Valentine’s Day episode. To celebrate that most romantic of holidays, we of course continued our review of the No Holds Barred script written by Dennis Hackin and compared it to the final version written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon. And of course, we got to read about the first true romantic advances between Ripper and Samantha N. Moore. It was a scene filled with charm, a scene filled with laughter, and, ultimately, a scene filled with white-hot eroticism.
Now I ask you this. When you’ve just covered a scene so sensual, so incredibly steamy that your glasses fogged up just listening to it, how can you possibly follow it up? Well, if you answered that, of course, you follow it up with a wrestling-based children’s charity field day, then, my friend, you just might have a future in this business…’cause that’s exactly where ol’ Hack is headed next.
Now let’s take it one step further. How does one proceed after a scene of sexual tension so taut that Philippe Petit's could walk across it, followed by a wrestling-based children’s charity field day? Well, once again, that question has but one answer, and that’s to cut to a brutal, and quite realistic, sexual assault.
And finally, dear listener, let me ask you this. Really put your screenwriter hat on, and give this one some thought. In a 1989 children’s movie, how should one follow a scene of high erotic passion, a wrestling-based children’s charity field day, and a brutal and realistic sexual assault? Well, folks, the answer to that one is both deceptively simple and breathtakingly elegant. Of course, what you should do is have one of your main characters viciously beaten within an inch of his life.
And that’s how it’s done folks. That’s how modern masters like Dennis Hackin, Hulk Hogan, and Vince McMahon make their money. That’s why they’re on speed dial for any director worth his salt. That’s why they’ve got Walk of Fame stars in Hollywood, Bollywood, and Dollywood. That’s why they’re true-blue American heroes.
But of course, folks, that was just the introduction. There’s a hell of a lot more to it. If you want the real skinny on this script, on who came up with which ideas, on what those ideas say about the author, and if you want the real skinny on helicopter terminology, then you better pop in those ear bud units, press play on your podcast listening device, and buckle up. You’re in for one hell of a wild ride.
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Theme music: “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
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