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Recommendation Time with Clint and Jacob

Clint and Jacob are here to guide you through the treacherous waters of film, television, and any other culture in their path.
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Recommendation Time with Clint and Jacob
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Now displaying: Category: Comedy, Wrestling
Apr 26, 2018

As we told you in our last episode, someone broke Jacob's computer. Who would do that? His whole life was in that thing. But don't worry. We got him a new one. A better one. One with all the bells and whistles. So we're back, just in time to talk about the terrible movie Draft Day on the actual NFL Draft Day.  Don’t miss it.

 

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Theme music:  “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown

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“Old Bidness” music provided by Polyester Robot. 

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Recommendations music provided by Len Binning. 

Check out Len’s YouTube show “Len and Jim Take Over” (link)

Apr 19, 2018

After a short delay, we're back with a quick episode to explain what happened and how we plan to make it up to you. Plus Old Bidness, Recommendations, mules, rap, and we break down some jokes. Don't miss it.

 

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Mar 6, 2018

Welcome back, everybody.  It’s been exactly 14 days since we released our annual Valentine’s Day episode.  To celebrate that most romantic of holidays, we of course continued our review of the No Holds Barred script written by Dennis Hackin and compared it to the final version written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon.  And of course, we got to read about the first true romantic advances between Ripper and Samantha N. Moore.  It was a scene filled with charm, a scene filled with laughter, and, ultimately, a scene filled with white-hot eroticism. 

Now I ask you this.  When you’ve just covered a scene so sensual, so incredibly steamy that your glasses fogged up just listening to it, how can you possibly follow it up?  Well, if you answered that, of course, you follow it up with a wrestling-based children’s charity field day, then, my friend, you just might have a future in this business…’cause that’s exactly where ol’ Hack is headed next. 

Now let’s take it one step further.  How does one proceed after a scene of sexual tension so taut that Philippe Petit's could walk across it, followed by a wrestling-based children’s charity field day?  Well, once again, that question has but one answer, and that’s to cut to a brutal, and quite realistic, sexual assault. 

And finally, dear listener, let me ask you this.  Really put your screenwriter hat on, and give this one some thought.  In a 1989 children’s movie, how should one follow a scene of high erotic passion, a wrestling-based children’s charity field day, and a brutal and realistic sexual assault?  Well, folks, the answer to that one is both deceptively simple and breathtakingly elegant.  Of course, what you should do is have one of your main characters viciously beaten within an inch of his life.

And that’s how it’s done folks.  That’s how modern masters like Dennis Hackin, Hulk Hogan, and Vince McMahon make their money.  That’s why they’re on speed dial for any director worth his salt.  That’s why they’ve got Walk of Fame stars in Hollywood, Bollywood, and Dollywood.  That’s why they’re true-blue American heroes.

But of course, folks, that was just the introduction.  There’s a hell of a lot more to it.  If you want the real skinny on this script, on who came up with which ideas, on what those ideas say about the author, and if you want the real skinny on helicopter terminology, then you better pop in those ear bud units, press play on your podcast listening device, and buckle up.  You’re in for one hell of a wild ride.

 

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Feb 20, 2018

Well, folks, it’s that time of year.  Lovers are strolling arm-in-arm through Central Park.  Cupid is lounging atop a cloud, his quiver well-stocked.   Godiva is ramping up their chocolate production and tightening their credit card security policies.  Roses are being sold in tents in the parking lots of grocery stores.  Edible chalk hearts are being exchanged.  But most telling of all, it’s time for Whatcha Gonna Do: The Hulk Hogan Movie Podcast’s annual Valentine’s Day episode – this year released 6 days after Valentine’s Day.  

In this episode, we’ll be exploring perhaps the most romantic scenes from the original No Holds Barred script, written by Dennis Hackin.  We've got everything you’d want – a brutal fight, a weight lifting session, an inexplicable corporate meeting, and of course the main event: the long-awaited romance between professional wrestler Ripper and a woman he’s worked with on a diaper commercial.  You’ll laugh. You’ll cry.  You’ll fashion a weapon out of a length of steel pipe.  And most importantly, you’ll see love in its truest form.  Just make sure your bed won’t break.

And as always, we cover a wide range of other romantic topics, including the Mapplethorpe exhibit, automobile safety, enemas, haunted forests, George Jones, backhand strikes, incest, Mickey Goldmill, McGyver, Chris Vaughn, Zach Randolph, Matrix spoilers, undershirts, Holiday Inn, and toxic shock syndrome.  Don’t miss it.

 

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Feb 6, 2018

This week we’re back in the No Hold Barred script to discuss two of the more bizarre scenes from the movie – the diner robbery and the hotel room shared by Ripper and Samantha N. Moore.  Overall, the final versions of these scenes in the movie are basically unchanged from the original draft of the script written by Dennis Hackin.  However, by examining a few of the key additions to the final version – as written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon – we believe we are able to confirm a few of the stranger attitudes and biases at the heart of this legendary screenwriting duo – attitudes we could only speculate on before.  Also, given how little these scenes changed overall in the final version, we are able to attribute many of their stranger elements to Dennis Hackin (a.k.a. Hack) himself, in particular from his depiction of everywoman Samantha N. Moore.  While we may never arrive at a complete picture of Hack, we believe that our careful study of his work is shedding new light on this revered but mysterious American figure. 

And in addition to analyzing the script, we give our definitive Super Bowl preview, cover some old diaper-centric business, confront a member of our listening audience, and cover such far-ranging topics as pasta, pomade, ZZ Top, Tyler Perry, potatoes, unusual deaths, Doc Holliday, the Bible, buttocks, murder-suicides, and Carrie Underwood.  Don’t miss it.

 

Watch and subscribe to Len Binning’s new show “Len and Jim Take” over at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1sqi1BY--FqEBCbU6NYx4g.

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Jan 23, 2018

This week, we return to the No Holds Barred script for one of the more bizarre sequences from either the screenplay or final movie.  In fact, this scene is so bizarre that Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon – famed for their authorial restraint – decided to remove it completely from their final version of the script.  And while any differences between the Dennis Hackin draft of the script and the final version written by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon give us a window into their minds and creative process, we daresay that this scene in particular gives us a glimpse into the very soul of the American luminary Dennis Hackin.  It’s quite an exciting ride.

And in addition to examining the script, we discuss dog chores, turtles, cellar doors, Howard Kramer, hampers, pythons, smart horses, the Viet Cong, Gladiator 2, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  Also, Jacob announces an exciting new project. Don’t miss it.

 

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Jan 9, 2018

This week we’re back into the No Holds Barred script and discussing a few more pivotal scenes from the film, starting with the first two airings of the No Holds Barred Battle of the Tough-Guy Challenge (later abbreviated as the No Holds Barred Tough-Guy Challenge).  Besides just getting our first glimpse of Zeus in action, it turns out that these fight scenes revealed a massive surprise in the movie – one we had missed in over a year of covering this movie. 

We’ll also be getting a bit more backstory on Zeus and an alternate take on one of his most iconic fights.  And as always, this script affords us a peek behind the curtain and into the minds of three of America’s most acclaimed screenwriters:  Dennis Hackin (who wrote the original version of the script) and of course the powerhouse writing team of Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon (responsible for the movie version of the script).  You can never learn enough about luminaries such as these, so we certainly hope you’ll join us. 

And as if that weren’t enough, we’ll also be covering Judge Roy Bean, sea snails, pies, the movie Ghost, rodeo bulls, Taxi Driver, Bonanza, Teen Wolf, Batman, and The Righteous Brothers.  Don’t miss it.

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Dec 26, 2017

Christmas is here again, and that means it’s time for four second annual holiday spectacular.  This Christmas, we’re defying two of our comedic heroes, Scott Aukerman and Paul F. Tompkins, by joking about the 2004 film “I, Robot.”  If you’re confused, don’t worry; we’ll explain what we’re talking in the episode. 

We’ll be answering many of the questions presented by this movie.  Is Will Smith a good detective or just a maniac?  Why are so many of the movie’s plot points introduced and quickly abandoned?  Why do robots have eyebrows?  And many more.  Plus Clint reads a Christmas classic, and we talk about pies.  Don’t miss it.

 

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Dec 12, 2017

This week we’re back with our fifth installment reviewing the original Dennis Hackin draft of the No Holds Barred script – and of course comparing his version to the final Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon rewrite.  Up first, we’ll be meeting the four fearsome entrants to the No Holds Barred Battle of the Tough-Guy Challenge (ignoring late entrants Neanderthal (a.k.a. Bubba) and Zeus for now).  You heard that right, folks.  It isn’t just the three entrants you know and love from the movie (Klondike Kramer, Brock Chisler, and Bulldog McPherson).  No, in fact, an entirely new contender has emerged – one with a strictly Dennis Hackin origin and a very interesting quirk. 

We’ll also be covering two scenes from the script aren’t in the movie at all.  We won’t give it away here, but let’s just say that you’ll be getting a partial origin story for one of the movie’s most iconic characters, and another of Ripper’s (aka Rip’s) many talents will be revealed. 

And as if that weren’t enough, we’ll be covering walnuts, butt plugs, cock rings, Pee Wee, forklifts, Cheryl Hines, Jacob’s family’s favorite cocktails, Joe Frazier, Mad Men, Mark Henry, prison bodybuilding, and the state of medical care in wrestling.  Also, this week marks the return of one of the finest impersonations ever heard on this program.  Don’t miss it. 

 

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Theme music:  “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown

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Nov 28, 2017

This week finds up back in the No Holds Barred script and covering yet another standout scene from the movie: Brell, Orbach (a.k.a. Ordway), and Unger’s first visit to Spike’s Bar (a.k.a. The No Count Bar).    And while the original Dennis Hackin screenplay version is at least structurally very similar to the later Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon rewrite as seen in the movie, there are some very key differences for us to explore.  Actually, a few of the more bizarre elements from this scene are included specifically in one version but not the other, so this scene in particular gives us a window into the strange internal lives of screenwriters Dennis Hackin, Hulk Hogan, and Vince McMahon.  In addition to the script analysis, this episode features Clint’s long-awaited take on the Louis C.K. sexual harassment scandal, his encyclopedic knowledge of early American explorers and STDs, an apology to Dennis Hackin, a discussion of the extended theatrical run for No Holds Barred in Brazil, one of Jacob’s frightening alter-egos, and Jacob desperately trying (and failing) to remember the movie title “Requiem for a Heavyweight.”  Don’t miss it.

 

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Theme music:  “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown

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Nov 14, 2017

This week, we’re back to our coverage of No Holds Barred with one of the more memorable scenes from the movie:  Rip’s romantic dinner with Samantha N. Moore at the world’s fanciest French restaurant.  And of course, in this case, we’re actually taking a look at this scene from an early draft of the script – a draft written by acclaimed novelist Dennis Hackin – and comparing it to the movie version penned by equally acclaimed writers Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon.  Now, as interesting as this scene is in the movie – and remember that among other things, it features Hulk Hogan wearing a Matlock suit and speaking French – this script version might be even more impressive.  You’ll have to tune in to see why.  And as if that weren’t enough, we also cover topics like horses, orange sherbet, Chopped, Marlon Brando, Li’l Wayne, Rocky Balboa, George H.W. Bush, and two of Clint’s new aliases.  Don’t miss it.

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Oct 31, 2017

We were working in the lab late one night when our eyes beheld an eerie sight...it was a Twitter DM from Rock Talk to see if we wanted to record a crossover with them.  Spooky!

So this week, we’ll be covering Walking Tall - an early starring vehicle for The Rock and perhaps the worst film in the long career of Michael Bowen.  Don’t miss it.

And in the spirit of Halloween, our friends from the podcast “Rock Talk: A Guide to the Films of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson” will be covering a Hulk Hogan film - the venerable No Holds Barred.  So be sure to subscribe to their podcast and check out their take on this 1989 Hulk Hogan classic as well as any other Rock Talk episodes you’ve missed.

 

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Oct 17, 2017

Last episode, we narrowly escaped a hammerhead upside our fishbrain noggins.  This week, we brave that danger once again to cover an early version of the No Holds Barred screenplay – a version written by Bronco Billy’s own Dennis Hackin.  And just like the theatrical version, these early scenes are a pulse-pounding thrill ride.  In fact, this week, we witness not one but two corporate strategy meetings (the third and fourth of the screenplay so far), a discussion of French antiques, the art of salary negotiation, and perhaps the most iconic scene of No Holds Barred.  And as always, in comparing this Dennis Hackin draft of the screenplay to the rewrite penned by Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon, we search for clues into the authorial method, the madness, or perhaps the overwhelming emptiness at the core of these two titans of sports entertainment.

 

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Oct 3, 2017

How long would it take to cover a 93 minute movie about a sociopathic professional wrestler?   We thought the answer was 17 episodes when we wrapped up our film coverage in our last show, but as it turns out, the story of No Holds Barred is more, much more than its perfected theatrical form.  Particularly so when Hulk Hogan claims to have personally rewritten its screenplay in a small hotel room with Vince McMahon over what must have been a nightmarish 72 hours. 

So this week we continue our No Holds Barred coverage by diving into an early draft of the screenplay - one submitted by acclaimed novelist and screenwriter Dennis Hackin.  By comparing his version to the final film, we hope to gain insight into the authorial method and perhaps into the very souls of Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon.  Or maybe we’ll just talk about some dumb shit that’s in the screenplay and not the movie, or vice-versa.  You’ll have to tune in to find out. 

We also discuss Rob Zombie, impotence, Steve Jobs, Jerome Bettis, Hulk Hogan church attendance, and Limp Bizkit.  And most importantly, we make a long overdue apology to a former guest on the show.  Don’t miss it.

 

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Sep 19, 2017

Very few podcasts would spend three episodes covering any movie.  Even fewer would spend three episodes on a universally panned, 20-year-old movie about a fictional professional wrestler, played by an actual professional wrestler with no acting talent.  And only one would spend three extra episodes on content they may have missed in 14 prior episodes covering that movie.  If you haven’t guessed it yet, we are that very podcast.  This week, we’re back for our 17th episode on No Holds Barred, Hulk Hogan’s first starring role in a film.  In this third and final installment of things we missed, we’ll cover alternate endings, feats of strength, background acting, bell ringing, Oscar De La Hoya, watches, Jimi Hendrix, the southeastern U.S. real estate market, and Jacob’s long-overdue apology to a friend of the show and former guest.  Don’t miss it.

 

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Theme music:  “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown

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Sep 5, 2017

This week we once again welcome Stephen Perlstein – comedian, writer, and cohost of the podcasts “You Should Love Wrestling” and “I Love You and I Like You: A Parks and Recreation Podcast.”  Like us, Stephen is not a wrestling fan, so logically, we have both started podcasts to discuss wrestlers for hundreds of hours, watched an absurd number of wrestling matches, and now join each other on this podcast for a two hour conversation about famous wrestler Hulk Hogan.  Here in hour two of that discussion, we review all things Hulk Hogan – including bandanas, occupational therapy, the 1998 romantic comedy “You’ve Got Mail,” Whitney Cummings, Vanna White, fossil fuels, campaign financing, and bodyslam technique.  Don’t miss it.

 

Follow Stephen Perlstein on Twitter @Perlstein

Subscribe to Stephen’s podcast “You Should Love Wrestling” and follow @YSLWPodcast

Subscribe to Stephen’s podcast “I Love You and I Like You: A Parks and Recreation Podcast”

Check out Stephen’s podcast network: Boardwalk Audio

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Theme music:  “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown

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Aug 22, 2017

It can be a lonely life when you don't like wrestling but end up devoting most of your time to studying a wrestler.  So when we find a kindred spirit like Stephen Perlstein of the You Should Love Wrestling podcast, we get pretty excited and take up an unreasonable amount of his time.  In fact, we talked to Stephen for so long that we had to split the conversation over two episodes. Here in part 1, we discuss topics like Hulk Hogan's personal hygiene, tanning regimen, and golden toilets, as well as REO Speedwagon, hometown heroes, cat diets, Nu Metal, zoo attendance, pasta, and Terry Bollea’s penis.  Don’t miss it.

 

Follow Stephen Perlstein on Twitter @Perlstein

Subscribe to Stephen’s podcast “You Should Love Wrestling” and follow @YSLWPodcast

Subscribe to Stephen’s podcast “I Love You and I Like You: A Parks and Recreation Podcast”

Check out Stephen’s podcast network: Boardwalk Audio

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Theme music:  “Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown

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Aug 8, 2017

After 14 episodes exhaustively reviewing the 93 minute film No Holds Barred, a lot of podcasts would call it a day.  A lot of podcasts would pat themselves on the back and go enjoy spending some time with their family, reading a good book, relaxing at the beach, or perhaps moving on to one of the many other films that their subject starred in.  We’re not naming names.  But unlike those other guys, Clint and Jacob are professionals.  They leave no stone unturned.  If they’ve got to jump through a limo roof, brave a hall of mirrors, shit their pants, or even use two different types of rowing machines, they’ll do it to bring you the most comprehensive analysis of No Holds Barred in modern history.  So this week, they’re back with part two of things they missed the first time through the movie.  Along the way, they’ll also cover patriotism, blackjack, orthodontics, and Jacob’s encyclopedic knowledge of Indian history.  Don’t miss it.

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Jul 25, 2017

This week, we conclude our discussion of No Holds Barred with friend of the show Blake Collier.  On his podcast, “The Body The Blood,” they pair a recent horror film with an older one, examine both in a historical, theological, and sociological context, and discuss thematic and structural similarities between the films.  In this episode, we follow their lead by presenting a list of films to pair with the 1989 Thomas J. Wright masterwork No Holds Barred.  And to keep things light, we continue to discuss bestiality, suicide, AIDS, and male pattern baldness.  Don’t miss it.

Subscribe to Blake’s podcast:  The Body The Blood

Follow Blake on Twitter:  @TheBodyTheBlood

Read Blake’s bi-monthly column at reelworldtheology.com

Visit Blake’s website at blakeicollier.com

 

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Jul 11, 2017

This week, we welcome friend of the show Blake Collier for a more nuanced and scholarly discussion of No Holds Barred. On Blake’s podcast, “The Body The Blood,” they pair a recent horror film with an older one, examine both in a historical, theological, and sociological context, and discuss thematic and structural similarities between the films. In this episode, we attempt to bring the same intellectual rigor to No Holds Barred. Along the way, we discuss Texas geography, horse dicks, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Greek mythology, and much more. Don’t’ miss it.

Subscribe to Blake’s podcast: The Body The Blood
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Visit Blake’s website at blakeicollier.com

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Jun 27, 2017

After 13 episodes, you’d have to agree that we’ve covered No Holds Barred more extensively than anyone else ever has.  But alas, even we couldn’t get to everything.  So this week, we return to Thomas J. Wright’s 1989 classic to reexamine any important points we may have missed.  So sit back, relax, pop open a refreshing bottle of Stroh’s Light beer, and listen as we peel back yet another layer of this modern masterwork.

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Jun 13, 2017

This week we take a break from No Holds Barred to chat with stand-up comedian Brandon Davidson.  We fully and definitively cover life, love, disgusting hotel rooms, Harley Race, Andre the Giant, eugenics in America, and more, so don’t miss it. 

Check out Brandon’s website at iambrandondavidson.com

June 24 in Tyler, TX, come see Brandon performing stand-up at the ETX Brewing Company.

Follow Brandon on Twitter: @BrandonDavidson

Check out Brandon’s podcast: Comedy BBQ

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May 30, 2017

How do you cap off a movie with a limo driver shitting himself, five corporate board meetings, and a pie/gun fight? Join us as we cover the climactic final scene of No Holds Barred to find out. Also, a Powers Boothe memorial rap and Randy's understanding of elevators.

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May 16, 2017

We went off topic for a special episode to welcome some new fans, but now we’re back on track. When we last left No Holds Barred, Rip’s younger brother (Randy, a.k.a. Randy the Dipshit, a.k.a. Dumbass Randy) had just taken a brutal beating. He’s in pretty bad shape. He’ll need a lot of physical therapy and a little bit of love. Luckily, Rip is here to provide both. Plus, some talk about other podcasts, Clint’s movie theater neuroses, and a begrudging guest appearance from Clint’s long-suffering wife.

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May 11, 2017

You may have heard about us on Never Not Funny. Start here to learn what we’re all about and hear clips from our discussions of the Rocky movies, No Holds Barred, and more. Grab a bag o’ corn, friend, and enjoy!

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Songs:
“Find My Way” by Magnolia Brown
“Dangerous Drug” by Magnolia Brown

Episode Categories:
Introduction: Episodes 1-2
Wrestling: Episodes 3-5
Rocky: Episodes 6-14
No Holds Barred: Episodes 17, 19-27
Other: Episodes 7.5, 15, 16, 18

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